Music and Me

I play music all the time because music, to my ears, is living my life. That’s what I do, and I have been doing it for a long time – ever since I was a kid, into my teenage years, during my 20s, and through my 30s. Here I am as a full-grown adult, still listening to music as if my survival depends on it.  

Why? It’s because my life does depend on it: what happens inside me is important. My emotional life glitters like diamonds in the sun or a vault full of gold. Music has made me rich! I bask in the feelings and see them play out in my mind. Whether the scenario is real or fake, I watch the scene flicker on the screen like a film in a darkened room.  

Music to me is integral, helping me cope with life because life is hard. It has peaks and valleys, and I must maintain by any means. My brain is dependent on sounds that are melodic and soothing, inspiring and exciting; I have become a music-oriented person with no plans of going back. Back to what? To the beginning? Impossible! To go back to when I did not love music is preposterous.  

All I know is music, and all I want is music. One time a professor asked the class, “What is one thing you cannot live without?” Some people said their kids, their parents, their lovers. I said, “Music!” I had to be honest. Looking at myself squarely and humbly, I could see what was there, and I know I can make it in this life with music. I can make it to the end, I can be who I am to the final moment, to the last song, to the last sound when the bell tolls for me.