When Things Don’t Go Your Way

We work hard for something and still don’t get the result we wanted. Maybe
you didn’t get the grade you expected, you lost a competition, didn’t get a job, or
something simply didn’t work out the way you planned.

When that happens, I think it is completely normal to feel bad about it. When you haven’t gotten the result you wanted, being disappointed is just part of life. We are human, and if something mattered to us, of course we are going to feel something when it doesn’t work out. One thing I have been learning is that you don’t always have to immediately force yourself to feel positive. Give yourself some time to feel disappointed, frustrated, or upset. Feel it for a little while instead of pretending that you don’t care.

But after that, I think the important thing is accepting that it already happened and you
can’t control it anymore. What you can control is what comes next. You can’t go back and
change the result. Constantly thinking about what went wrong isn’t going to change what
already happened. Instead, I try to shift my attention toward questions like: What can I do
better next time? What did I learn from this? If I face the same situation again, what can I
do differently?

Maybe I could have prepared differently. Maybe I made a mistake that I can learn from.
And sometimes, I might have done everything I could and still didn’t get the result I
wanted. That happens too. For me, the important part is not letting one result get too much
into my head. A disappointing result is something that happened; it doesn’t have to control
what happens next.

This doesn’t mean pretending that losing doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you have to
immediately smile and act like everything is fine. Be disappointed. Give yourself that
moment. That feeling is part of being human. But eventually, turn your attention toward
what is still in your control.

There will be another opportunity, another goal, another assignment, or another challenge.
You may not be able to control what already happened, but you can control how you
prepare for what is coming next.

So when things don’t go your way, feel it, accept that it happened, and then keep moving.
You can’t control yesterday’s result. You can control what you do next.